The last time I won something, I was 7 years old and it was a goldfish from the Ping Pong ball toss at the sad little traveling carnival that passed through our town every summer. He died two days later, maybe because I was 7 and fed him something like four tablespoons of fish flakes, but probably more likely the result of him living the depraved life of a Carni fish in the fetid, blue-dyed water of his round, glass prison. What was I talking about? Oh yeah: I didn’t get a spot in the NYC Marathon, either. Stupid fish.
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The last time I won something, I was 7 years old and it was a goldfish from the Ping Pong ball toss at the sad little traveling carnival that passed through our town every summer. He died two days later, maybe because I was 7 and fed him something like four tablespoons of fish flakes, but probably more likely the result of him living the depraved life of a Carni fish in the fetid, blue-dyed water of his round, glass prison.

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah: I didn’t get a spot in the NYC Marathon, either.

Stupid fish.